Routine
by Dildont
Summary: "Before…Before I started doing…this" he said, motioning to his arm "I wanted to…I tried…to die." Superfamily. T for self-harm and mentions of suicide. No pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Peter sat in his room on the side of his bed, engaging in what was now his daily routine. He hissed at the bite of the blade as he flitted it across his skin with a flick of his wrist, watching intently as the blood beaded up to the surface. He didn't hear the door opening.

Tony was rooted in complete and utter shock in the doorway. He swallowed and stuttered, finally breaking out of his frozen state and snatched the blade away from his son. "Peter!? What the hell?" he growled, not angry, just horrified.

Peter's eyes were blown wide. No. Dad wasn't supposed to find out. No no no no…

Tony took Peter's wrist in his hands and looked at the cuts. "Why—? Why would you—?"

He looked around the room as if searching for an excuse before slowly returning his gaze to his Dad\s horrified eyes. "Dad…I—I wasn't…This isn't..." he couldn't make a sentence.

Tony sat by his son on the bed and looked at him, trying to comprehend why Peter would do this. But he couldn't. Did he and Steve do something? Was he being bullied at school? There were a million questions running through his mind. "Why Peter?" he asked, voice cracking.

Peter turned his face away as tears began leaking from his eyes. He took a deep shaky breath before answering. "I…It's, uh, it's how I…cope…" he shrugged.

Tony let go of Peter's wrist and instead wrapped his arms tightly and protectively around the teenager. "Cope?" he questioned sadly. "Peter, kiddo, I don't understand…cope with what? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"With…_everything_…with school, stress…memories…" Peter leaned into the hug, feeling very comfortable and safe in his Dad's arms. "I know I can…but it's hard. Everything is so hard and I'm trying to fix it and I _can't_…I don't know what I'm supposed to do…"

"Kiddo, whatever it is, you don't have to do it alone. You don't have to—"he trailed off, tears welling up in his eyes. He never wants to see his baby boy hurt, especially not because of himself. Tony held Peter tight and kissed his hair. "What's been going on Peter? Let me help you."

"…It's better than the alternative." He mumbled as his Dad continued on. Glancing up he could tell Tony was close to crying and it hurt. It hurt so much. No kid wants to see his parent cry. "School's been…bad lately. Things with Flash haven't been getting any better. My grades are slipping too, no matter how much I study" There was also the great deal of grief and stress of being Spider-man, but he couldn't tell him that. "I…I keep having dreams too…About the night when Uncle Ben was killed…and Aunt May…shot herself…" the last two words cracked as they fell from his lips. "I could have saved them, Dad…"

Tears fell down Tony's cheek and he held Peter closer. "Kiddo…" he soothed gently. He hated knowing that Peter had kept all of this bottled up inside and resorted, often it appeared, to hurting himself. "Peter, you were just a kid...you still are." he whispered, rubbing Peter's back. "You can't blame yourself for that…it wasn't your fault." Tony assured.

"No, you don't understand! The man that...killed Uncle Ben…I had a chance to stop him and I could've done it, but I was too _fucking selfish_ to do anything!" he yelled as more tears flowed from his eyes, wetting Tony's t-shirt.

"As for your grades, if you need help, I can help you and as for Flash… Well I know you won't like it but I think I'm going to call the school." Tony continued

Peter's head popped up. "No, please don't. It'll only make things worse if you call. They'll all know it was me…"

"You're just a kid Peter." Tony repeated, voice comforting and calm as he gently kissed Peter's forehead. He felt his heart breaking as he held the crying Peter. "And Peter, I'm sorry but I can't let this bullying continue if it's driving you to…" he shook his head. "It needs to stop."

He looked up, deciding the truth needed to come out. "No, Dad. I'm not _just a kid_. I'm—I'm…Spider-Man…" well this wasn't exactly how he imagined he'd reveal himself. At all. His expression hardened as he thought back to the brief time he'd spend in the orphanage before his Dads had adopted him.

"Before…Before I started doing…this" he said, motioning to his arm "I wanted to…I _tried_…to die."

Tony blinked at all the information that had just come rushing at him. He was about to say something witty about Spider-Man in an attempt to cheer his son up, but he felt his heart skip when Peter finished talking. Tears ran freely down his face and he honestly couldn't speak. He managed to hold back a sob and hugged Peter tight. "Peter…" he breathed shakily. The thought of losing Peter…he couldn't imagine it.

Peter immediately returned the hug, inadvertently staining his Father's shirt with blood. "Dad…please. Please don't cry Dad…I'm sorry...please don't cry…" he sobbed out.

Tony took a shaky breath and forced himself to settle down enough to speak. "Peter…listen to me. _Never_ be sorry. Okay? Not for that…I love you kiddo, Okay? We'll make this better, I promise."

Peter shook his head "No It won't…nothing ever goes right for me. I don't _get _a break." He insisted.

"You need to trust me Peter. We'll fix this. I swear to you. You'll get a break, I won't let anything or anyone hurt you anymore." Tony promised.

Peter managed to choke out an "Ok" before resuming sobbing into his Dad's chest. He had no idea how long they had sat there and cried but eventually, taking a deep shaky breath, Peter sat up and dried his eyes and gave his Dad another hug.

Tony allowed Peter to let it all out, hugging him tight and whispering sweet comforts to him like: "It'll be okay." "You'll get through this." He glanced down at Peter's wrist after he had calmed down a little. I'll be right back." Tony said, pushing himself off the bed and walking to the bathroom, grabbing the first aid kit, wrapping Peter's wrist up in science. "You know we have to talk to your Pops when he gets home."

Peter squeezed his eyes shut. His Pops tended to be softer when it came to family matters and after seeing Tony's reaction he was scared to death of Steve's. "I know…" he sighed, watching as bandages were wrapped around the cuts that littered his forearm. "He's…not going to take it well..."

Tony sighed and softly pulled Peter's sleeve back over the bandages, eyes still locked on where the cuts were. "I know." He murmured. Steve was overprotective when it came to his family, especially Peter. He was their son after all. "I know…" he repeated, taking a deep breath. "It'll be okay."

Peter ran a hand though his messy hair and let out a puff of air. "Thanks Dad…"

"Of course Kiddo." Tony kissed Peter's forehead and gave him another hug. "And what was that about Spider-Man?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Peter chuckled a bit; scratching the back of his head "Was hoping you missed that part…" he said giving a smirk. "Snuck into Osborn Lab, come weird spider bit me and well…" Peter walked to the nearest wall where he proceeded to climb up to the ceiling. "..Yeah."

Tony stood there, wide eyed and slack jawed as he stared up at Peter. "Um…wow…yeah that's probably something you should have mentioned…" He gave a breathy chuckle and shook his head. "Why exactly did you sneak into Osborn's lab?"

Peter released his grip on the ceiling and did a little flip, landing back on the floor. "I found out Gwen worked there...so uh…" he gave a shy smile.

"Oh, stalking a girl? Okay. That's a legitimate reason to sneak into a lab." He laughed. "We'll have to work on your flirting skills kiddo, so you don't come home with any more super powers."

"I wasn't stalking her!" Peter insisted "There was a tour group and I was interested anyway so I kinda 'joined'." He shrugged.

"Uh huh." Tony said shaking his head as he gave Peter a pat on the back.

"Sir, Captain Rogers is home." JARVIS spoke up. Tony took a breath.

Peter scrubbed his hands over his face and let out a frustrated moan. "Alright…Let's just get this over with…"


	2. Chapter 2

Peter scrubbed his hands over his face and let out a frustrated moan. "Alright…Let's just get this over with…" he said as he opened his bedroom door and made his way to the living room just as his Pops stepped in.

Steve dropped his jacket over the back of the couch and turned to see Tony and Peter walking into the room. Smiling, he walked over. "Hello Honey."

Tony stood on his toes and gave Steve a quick kiss. "Hey babe. Mind if we talk…as a family?" With a questioning look from Steve they all took a seat on the couch. Peter sat twiddling his thumbs, not exactly how you'd go about this sort of thing.

"What's going on Sport?" Steve asked, a look of concern on his face.

Peter bit his lip, trying to come up with an answer, but failed to find any words that seemed good enough. So instead, he pulled his sleeve up, revealing his bandage wrapped forearm where blood was forming light red lines on the fabric.

Steve froze, unsure how to respond. Peter didn't seem to want to talk, so he looked to Tony. "What happened?"

Tony closed his eyes, trying to hold it together. He sat beside Steve and took the soldier's hand in his own, rubbing his thumb softly on the back.

"Peter's been…cutting himself Steve…" he muttered. "Stress, that flash asshole hasn't been letting up any, and he keeps having nightmares about his Aunt May and Uncle Ben…He tried to—to kill himself a couple times back at the orphanage too…Not to mention he's also Spider-Man."

Steve stuttered, trying to get words out but failing miserably. He looked back and forth between Peter and tony before turning back to his Son, putting his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Peter…I—I don't know what to say...Are you—are you alright? I mean…clearly you're not if you're…hurting yourself, but I mean…" Steve took a breath, trying to calm his racing mind. "Peter. Please tell us what we can do to make this better…I love you Peter, _we_ love you, and I don't want to see you like this…I just…" he shook his head and took Peter into his arms, rubbing his back as he did.

Peter held back the tears that threatened to spill over again. "Pops...I'm…I'm gonna…try to stop…hurting myself and…I'll…I promise that I'll talk to you guys if I feel like doing it again…" he whined out.

"Good. I'm glad…" Steve said, a small smile showing on his face. "I know what it's like to be picked on Pete, and I know that confronting them is scary to say the least…But it needs to be done, especially if it's causing you to feel so low…" he said looking Peter in the eyes, wiping away the tear that had fallen.

"You're a strong kid Peter. We know you can do this and we'll be with you every step of the way, alright bud?" Tony added, hoping he sounded comforting as he came in for a hug, closely followed my Steve.

Peter let a few tears fall as he returned his dad's hugs with a smile. "Okay…Thank you, Dads…I love you."

"And we love you, Peter." Steve replied as they separated. He pushed himself from the couch and began walking toward the kitchen. "Now, how about you two help me with dinner? If you can manage not to burn the tower down, that is."

Tony and Peter exchanged a glance of "Let's prove him wrong." and with a nod they were both in the kitchen, cutting vegetables and boiling water, nothing too complicated for the less than talented chefs.


End file.
